Yoga, I never thought It would be that hard

P90X Yoga, piece of cake right?  For anyone that things yoga is easy, I have news for you.  The first few times you do it, it kinda feels like a cross between being a wishbone after a thanksgiving dinner, and this:

Yeah, that’s right, a full on straight legged kick to the junk.  Yoga is a 90 minute routine.  The first hour is just absolutely brutal.  Here is  the the complete routine with my notes on each:

Moving Asanas: Every Asana begins with Chaturanga, Upward Dog and Downward Dog.

1. Runner’s Pose – At this point I cant get my leg up from the Downward Dog pose straight into this position.  I need to help move my foot up with my hand.
2. Crescent Pose
3. Warrior One
4. Warrior Two – Front leg kept getting a spasm and I wanted to bend my knee at this point.  I am already starting to get fatigued.
5. Reverse Warrior
6. Triangle Pose
7. Twisting Triangle
8. Chair to Twisting Chair (Prayer Twist) – I like this pose.  This one was some relief in the middle of pure torture.  At this point I know I am going to pay for the breather in the upcoming pose.
9. Right-Angle Pose to Extended Right-Angle Pose & Grab – This almost put me into the hospital in traction.
10. Prayer twist from Runner’s Pose to Side Arm Balance
11. Warrior Three to Standing Splits – My nuts detached from my body and went to hiding under the couch.
12. Half Moon to Twisting Half Moon – I did the best I could, but I was sweating buckets at this point.  I thought I might pass out.

Balance Postures: I have none.  None whatsoever.

1. Tree
2. Royal Dancer
3. Standing Leg Extension

Floor Work: This is actually my favorite part of the routine.

1. Crane (Pre-Handstand) – I did it!! I really did it!
2. Seated Spinal Stretch
3. Cat Stretch – This was very nice.  I’m feeling renewed and relaxed.
4. Frog
5. Bridge or Wheel – Forget the Wheel, but the bridge was manageable.
6. Plough into Shoulder Stand with Leg Variations into Plough
7. Table – OK, This was a bit of trouble, but I did the best I could.
8. Cobbler Pose
9. One-Legged Hamstring Stretch into Two-Legged Hamstring Stretch

The Yoga Belly 7: I had horrible Ab Ripper X flashbacks during this part of the routine.  Ouch!

1. Boat
2. Half Boat
3. Scissor – That Mother ****** found a way to get Fifer Scissors into a yoga routine.  That is not right in any way.  I hate you, Tony.
4. Torso Twist Hold
5. Deep Torso Twist Hold
6. Touch the Sky

The class ends with some stretches, child’s pose, shavasana and fetal pose. I skipped the Ohms.  I just wanted to re-hydrate and  fish my nuts out from under the couch.  After I brushed the dust bunnies off the boys I stood there for a few moments.  I realized that I felt extremely good about my workout.  I felt relaxed and more limber.

Wow, I might actually start liking this yoga thing.

The following is how yoga is supposed to be done vs how I looked doing yoga:

OK, I was relaxed until I watched the first period of the Red Wings game.  THAT has me all tense again.  Maybe I need to meditate on that.

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